Sunday, October 30, 2011

Family Communication Part 3


I think my husband was more nervous than I was.  He cried a lot more than I did as he spoke because he gets more emotional than I do in front of people.

I resent you for using drugs.  I felt afraid, scared, and worried that you would harm yourself and others.

I resent you for running away.  I felt extremely worried, confused, and alarmed.

I resent you for our broken relationship.  I felt abandoned, angry, not loved, and lost.

I resent you for stealing from friends and neighbors.  I felt ashamed, embarrassed, and sad.

I resent you for using with your friends and felt embarrassed and ashamed to their parents for your helping to put them in harm’s way.

I resent you for swearing at me repeatedly.  I felt disrespected, truly depressed, mad, and angry.

I resent you for not remembering how you came into our lives and what you mean to us.  I felt very hated, scorned, unwanted, and unloved.

I resent you for not living by the morals you were taught and going away from your Father-in-Heaven.  I felt sad, troubled.  But I know this is something you have to find out for yourself.

I resent you for being up in my face--threatening, and argumentative.  I felt hated and unwanted.

I love and appreciate you for your renewed playful friendship with your mother.  I feel proud of you, happy for both of you, and a little jealous in a good way.

I love and appreciate you for finally deciding to listen and use the program and lessons you have learned here to better your life.  I feel happy and confident in your progress.

I love and appreciate you for being sober and for recognizing your potential.  I feel you can obtain what you want with this new attitude of determination.

I love and appreciate you for regaining your sparkle, spontaneity, and working your way back to the old son.  I feel happy, proud, and jubilant.

I love and appreciate you for starting to rebuild our relationship.  I feel happy and re-energized.

I love and appreciate you for learning new things, like guitar and drawing;  for knowing that you can be friends to others, and an example and that you can serve others; and that you take the time to talk to your sponsor and seem to have a desire to be a sponsor for others when you can.  I feel proud and thrilled with your progress.

I apologize for not knowing all your needs.  I hope you will confide with me in the future so I can feel helpful and understanding.

I apologize for not being there when you needed me.  I feel uncomfortable and lacking.

I apologize that I would have to put my son I rehab.  But, I felt it was necessary under the circumstances and feel because of that choice it has helped all of us to know what it was that you needed.  I would do it again if it meant keeping you alive.  I feel happy and sad it had to be done and I hope someday you’ll understand what I mean by that.

I commit to you in the future to work harder at understanding your side of issues, problems, and expectations.  I feel confident to move forward.

I commit to being the friend and father that you want by not repeating myself, still being strong, finding ways to work through problems with the things I have learned and your help with what you’ve learned.  I’ll work harder at being a good example and not as critical.  I feel happy, confident, excited, and encouraged to do this.

I commit to you that you will always know that you are my son.  I love you.  I never want to lose you.  I want our friendship to grow.  Thanks for you.  I’m proud of you.

The therapist talked a little bit about what she heard.  She asked my son some questions, commented on things we said, made some suggestions, and then it was over.

He was officially out of rehab.

And we went to Chili’s to celebrate and have dinner.

No comments:

Post a Comment