Monday, September 12, 2011

ONGOING

You would think that since he actually got to go to the movie and had fun the day before, that he would have been in a better mood on Sunday.

No such luck.  We couldn't say anything to him without him trying to argue about it.

Church:  He said that now that he was a Phase 2, he could stay home from church because he was now allowed to be alone.  We said, “No, because we had to establish House Rules when you became a Phase 2 and you agreed to those rules.  One of them is that you go to church with us on Sunday.  So, we don’t’ need to talk about it every Sunday.”

His response:  “I know, so why are we still talking about it?”

Oh, brother.

Home:  He lost a contact lens in his room.  My husband moved the TV stand to look under it and all of a sudden he was being told how moving the TV stand was going to break the surround sound speakers and that we had already broken most of his speakers 5 months ago when we moved everything out of his room.  That was news to us.  Every now and then he has to point out that we had no right to go through his things and remodel his room. 

X-Box:  We had a big storm a few days earlier and the internet had not worked since.  Of course, it was my fault that he couldn’t play X-Box Live that day.  I had already spent a lot of time in the last few days trying to get it working and my son-in-law had even tried to figure out the problem.  On Sunday, I tried again just to try to have peace, even though it wasn't exactly what I wanted to do on Easter Sunday.  It was a good thing we had our Easter fun the day before (Ha Ha).

I was so proud of myself when I finally figured out the problem and couldn’t believe it that he only played a game for 30 minutes after all that work!  I was glad that I spent hours on the problem so that he could have fun for half an hour.

The Simpsons:  One thing he loves to do is watch TV shows that we had never allowed him to watch before.  Even though we have told him repeatedly that certain shows are not allowed, he watches them anyway.  He seems to know that we aren’t going to have a daily argument about TV.  The Simpsons Movie was on TV that night. 

Given that the atmosphere in our house was not the greatest, we probably shouldn’t have chosen that moment to talk about it again.  But, then again, maybe the atmosphere in our house gave us the feeling that we might as well talk about it.

We said that we wished he would use more discretion about the shows that he watches on TV because there is so much that pops up in those shows about drug use (and sex, too).  Everything that he has heard in treatment and therapy says that he should avoid triggers.  He thinks that seeing it in a TV show or movie isn’t a trigger for him. 

He tried to turn the attention away from what HE shouldn’t have been doing, by telling us what WE shouldn’t be doing.  He rationalized his TV choices by saying that we shouldn’t watch crime shows either, then.  Right, because when we see something about drugs or murder in a crime show, that is going to be a trigger for us. 

He loves to come up with irrational examples in order to try to win an argument—even if it is not an argument.  And, if it is not an argument, it might become one. 

Red shirt:  On Monday morning, he was wearing his red shirt AGAIN!  He had already worn it on Friday and Saturday.  Both his friend and my older son mentioned on Saturday that he was always wearing red and black gang colors.  So, we weren’t the only ones that noticed that the red shirt gets more mileage than any other shirt he owns.  He would wear it every day, if he could.  My husband suggested that he wear other colors more often and stop wearing that one so much.

He was still in a bad mood and the comment about the shirt seemed like it was going to start another argument.  So, I hurried to say that on their way home from Day Treatment that day, they could stop at a store that has colored t-shirts for $3.00 and buy 4 or 5 of them. 

Easy solution.  He would get new shirts and we could have a quiet morning.  But no, my son had to give one of his irrational examples to try to prove some kind of absurd point. 

He said that if HE wears red too much and that makes him supposedly part of a gang, then, my husband, who wears camouflage (every now and then while hunting), must be in a gang, too.  We didn't say he was in a gang, just that he was wearing gang colors way too much. 

So, we had a Monday morning blow-up over a red shirt--a great beginning to the week. 

It was just icing on the cake after the weekend that we had.

When was he going to get over being mad at us for everything?

I kept waiting for it to get better.

It was going to get better, right?

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